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Some funnies....

 

How many dogs does it take to change a light bulb?

Depends on the Breed.......

 

Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out bulb? 

Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not up to code. 

Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp! 
  
Rottweiler: Make me. 
  
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark. 
  
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please! 
  
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the situation. 
  
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the walls and furniture. 
  
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light bulb! 
  
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the dark. 
  
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb. Or 'We don't need no stinking light bulb.' 
  
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares? 
  
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little circle... 
  
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it.. By the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.   

 

How many cats does it take to change a light bulb?
 

Cats do not change light bulbs. People change light bulbs. So, the real question is:   
   'How long will it be before I can expect some light, some dinner, and a massage?' 
 
All of which proves, once again, that while dogs have masters, cats have staff!!
 

Canine Life Rules
 
If dogs could teach us we would learn things such as:
 
·         When loved ones come home. Always run to greet them
·         Never pass up the opportunity for a joyride
·         Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy
·         When it's in your best interest - practice obedience
·         Let others know when they have invaded your territory
·         Take naps and stretch before rising
·         Run, romp and play daily
·         Thrive on attention and let people touch you
·         Avoid biting when a simple growl will do
·         On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass
·         On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under a shady tree
·         When you are happy, dance and wag your entire body
·         No matter how often you are scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and run right back in and make friends
·         Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
·         Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough
·         Be loyal
·         Never pretend to be something you are not
·         If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it
·         When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.
 
Applying the above lessons to your life should make it a little less RUFF!
 
 
 

 

10 dog peeves about humans.....

 

1.      Blaming your farts on me... not funny... not funny at all.

2.      Yelling at me for barking... IM A DOG YOU IDIOT!

3.      Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

4.      Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it.

5.      Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons - Now you know why we chew stuff up when you're not home.

6.      The fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

7.      Taking me to the vet for 'the big snip', then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

8.      Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

9.      Dog sweaters... Haven't you noticed the fur?

10.  How you act disgusted when I lick myself. We both know the truth, you're just jealous!
 
 
 
Breakfast with Ginger!

Why Email was invented!
Sneaky Dog
 
 
 
Who Said you cant teach an old dog new tricks??
 
 
 
Mad Sheep!